I question today's generation. Their lack of communication with each other. It this a result of perhaps the internet, cell phones, too many video games? I don't know. What I do know is that is seems for whatever reason the born in the 80's and later generations seem to sorely lack in the art of communicating feelings, thoughts and even politeness. Is this a fault of us the parents? Did we not properly prepare and teach our young kidlets how to communicate? It seems to me the only communication that takes place is that of criticism and attacks on a peers psyche. I am really disappointed how our youth of today seem unable to express honest feelings and emotions. There seems to be no shortage of yelling, cursing, and racial slurs but when it actually comes down to the nitty gritty of saying, "when you say that you hurt my feelings, or, I wish you could hear what I am trying to tell you" and so on.
Maybe this is one of those cases where progress is really a digression. The progress of electronics and "make life easier" trinkits have led our current generations to lack the ability to fully express feelings.
Oh bother.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Pain
I once thought the death of my father was the deepest type of pain I would ever feel (knowing of course that this depth of pain would follow again with future familial passings). I accepted at the time of my father's death that the pain would never go away and I would never stop missing him. Well there have been times that I have had that aching type of missing and now is just one of those times.
I recently have had to watch my son become so inconsolable and nearly hysterical with pain (so very young to experience this level of pain). A break up after 4 1/2 years although 80% his choice resulted in unbearable pain for him primarily because of the pain he knows he caused the other party. How do you console an individual whose heart was literally turned into ground round? How do you tell this hurting loved one that the pain will get better (without sounding flippant)? How do you convince this individual that this is probably the best for both parties at this time, even though he feels like maybe he made the biggest mistake of his life? How do you stand by and watch this loved one curl up into the fetal position and know there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to take away the pain, except to hold him, listen to him, and constantly reassure him that you love him and always will?
I don't know how to do all these things. They weren't covered in the "mommy handbook". I may not know how to do these things but what I do know is that my own pain watching my son hurt is only a tiny minuscule part of the excruciating pain he is feeling and I am so helpless to comfort him.
I know that our dear God has a plan for all of us, and in the end he has a remarkable plan for my son because my son is a remarkable man. And I do hope that the old cliche', "this will make you stronger" is more than a cliche' and a fact. I also hope that this degree of pain only happens to an individual once in a lifetime.
I recently have had to watch my son become so inconsolable and nearly hysterical with pain (so very young to experience this level of pain). A break up after 4 1/2 years although 80% his choice resulted in unbearable pain for him primarily because of the pain he knows he caused the other party. How do you console an individual whose heart was literally turned into ground round? How do you tell this hurting loved one that the pain will get better (without sounding flippant)? How do you convince this individual that this is probably the best for both parties at this time, even though he feels like maybe he made the biggest mistake of his life? How do you stand by and watch this loved one curl up into the fetal position and know there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to take away the pain, except to hold him, listen to him, and constantly reassure him that you love him and always will?
I don't know how to do all these things. They weren't covered in the "mommy handbook". I may not know how to do these things but what I do know is that my own pain watching my son hurt is only a tiny minuscule part of the excruciating pain he is feeling and I am so helpless to comfort him.
I know that our dear God has a plan for all of us, and in the end he has a remarkable plan for my son because my son is a remarkable man. And I do hope that the old cliche', "this will make you stronger" is more than a cliche' and a fact. I also hope that this degree of pain only happens to an individual once in a lifetime.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Ordinary Day
It has been a while since I published on my blog, shows me how totally exciting my life really isn't. The house is very empty now, the only real noise is the constant barking from my dear companion and friend, Libby (I know you were thinking I was going to say my husband, right?, wrong.) It is almost as if now that the hustle and bustle of our children is gone Libby feels she must make up for the "missing" noises, so bark she does and a lot!
Actually as I sit here in my quiet (well kinda) house, I am finding humor at the 2 wall pictures I hung in our bedroom that I recently purchased at Salvation Army. On TV they are commenting that Michelle Obama hired a decorator to redecorate the living quarters of the White House at a mere budget of $100,000 provided by the Congress. I almost find it humorous at how willy nilly the Congress seems to spend the American people's money. A trillion here a trillion there oh and why not a simple 100 grand over there?
It seems everyone has to live on a budget except the Federal government. Save this company save that company (or at least save the CEO's bonuses and company jets). No problem it is just the American people's money. Does anyone ever consider how many people could still be employed with just one CEO's bonus for a year? Think how much smaller our unemployment rate would be if we used those multi-million dollar bonuses to save jobs instead of line the greedy pockets of non-producing arrogant managers.
I heard an interesting comment on TV the other day by Kelly Ripa (actually one of few that she makes that I agree with). Kelly stated (I am not quoting here, only paraphrasing) that since the American people have given all this money to all these companies, and these companies like CITI decide they are going to buy a corporate jet (but they aren't using the money from the government TARP - yeah right, then why do they need the money to begin with if they have that much to spend anyway?) then technically that corporate jet belongs to the American people, and as such we should all be able to use it, hey works for me. Let me think, I really need to fly to timbucktoo for who knows what but it is important, I think I will just order up that new jet to fly me there.
And so it goes, oh bother.....
Actually as I sit here in my quiet (well kinda) house, I am finding humor at the 2 wall pictures I hung in our bedroom that I recently purchased at Salvation Army. On TV they are commenting that Michelle Obama hired a decorator to redecorate the living quarters of the White House at a mere budget of $100,000 provided by the Congress. I almost find it humorous at how willy nilly the Congress seems to spend the American people's money. A trillion here a trillion there oh and why not a simple 100 grand over there?
It seems everyone has to live on a budget except the Federal government. Save this company save that company (or at least save the CEO's bonuses and company jets). No problem it is just the American people's money. Does anyone ever consider how many people could still be employed with just one CEO's bonus for a year? Think how much smaller our unemployment rate would be if we used those multi-million dollar bonuses to save jobs instead of line the greedy pockets of non-producing arrogant managers.
I heard an interesting comment on TV the other day by Kelly Ripa (actually one of few that she makes that I agree with). Kelly stated (I am not quoting here, only paraphrasing) that since the American people have given all this money to all these companies, and these companies like CITI decide they are going to buy a corporate jet (but they aren't using the money from the government TARP - yeah right, then why do they need the money to begin with if they have that much to spend anyway?) then technically that corporate jet belongs to the American people, and as such we should all be able to use it, hey works for me. Let me think, I really need to fly to timbucktoo for who knows what but it is important, I think I will just order up that new jet to fly me there.
And so it goes, oh bother.....
Saturday, December 27, 2008
It's Just a Day....
Santa has come, the presents are open, tummies are filled, and now it is time to pay all the bills.
Wait that isn't really what Christmas is all about. I learned that better this year than any year ever before. Yes we have done the Christmas Eve candlelight service, and the Advent candles, we have given to the bell ringers of Salvation Army, and all these things are important don't get me wrong. Any time you are reminded of the birth of Christ and the long trek to the stable by Mary and Joseph is important.
What I am talking about is getting down to basics, new life (the birth of Christ), the gathering of loved ones (Mary, Joseph all the wise men etc) and the sharing of peace, comfort and joy.
You see this year our daughter was not able to come home for Christmas. This was the first time in her short 25 years of life. She was saddened, I was saddened, to say the least it was difficult for all. But then as I was trying to console our daughter I began listening to my own words more carefully. You see I kept telling her, "it is just a day". Now those that are very religious may argue with my evaluation but think about it. All the things we are supposed to be celebrating we should actually be doing everyday of our lives. Christmas isn't really about the tree, and the Christmas presents, it is about the love of family, the love of our neighbors, peace and goodwill around the world. We and the retailers are the ones that have commercialized this holiday.
So it really is just a day, one of 365 to love our neighbors, honor our mother and father, Love our Lord God. Perhaps if we really wanted to honor the birth of our Lord we should give a gift everyday of the year, not just December 25th, and as my daughter said in her card that accompanied her gifts to the family, "they were each picked with sincere love". Isn't that in fact what it really is all about and perhaps what God may have intended by having the "Virgin Mary" carry his child?
Personally I am going to take my own words more to heart, it is "just a day" and my New Years resolution is to start making every day, all 365 days of the year Christmas by sharing some measure of peace, joy and love to all I meet and love.
Wait that isn't really what Christmas is all about. I learned that better this year than any year ever before. Yes we have done the Christmas Eve candlelight service, and the Advent candles, we have given to the bell ringers of Salvation Army, and all these things are important don't get me wrong. Any time you are reminded of the birth of Christ and the long trek to the stable by Mary and Joseph is important.
What I am talking about is getting down to basics, new life (the birth of Christ), the gathering of loved ones (Mary, Joseph all the wise men etc) and the sharing of peace, comfort and joy.
You see this year our daughter was not able to come home for Christmas. This was the first time in her short 25 years of life. She was saddened, I was saddened, to say the least it was difficult for all. But then as I was trying to console our daughter I began listening to my own words more carefully. You see I kept telling her, "it is just a day". Now those that are very religious may argue with my evaluation but think about it. All the things we are supposed to be celebrating we should actually be doing everyday of our lives. Christmas isn't really about the tree, and the Christmas presents, it is about the love of family, the love of our neighbors, peace and goodwill around the world. We and the retailers are the ones that have commercialized this holiday.
So it really is just a day, one of 365 to love our neighbors, honor our mother and father, Love our Lord God. Perhaps if we really wanted to honor the birth of our Lord we should give a gift everyday of the year, not just December 25th, and as my daughter said in her card that accompanied her gifts to the family, "they were each picked with sincere love". Isn't that in fact what it really is all about and perhaps what God may have intended by having the "Virgin Mary" carry his child?
Personally I am going to take my own words more to heart, it is "just a day" and my New Years resolution is to start making every day, all 365 days of the year Christmas by sharing some measure of peace, joy and love to all I meet and love.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wide Eyes of Surprise
It was a success. All the hard plans, all the coordination, all the secrets, what a joy to see the wide eyes of the birthday girl on approach to baggage claim not knowing entirely what the baggage being picked up.
Arriving well before the sun rises, checking the bags, removing the shoes, security, ah finally the approach to the gate. Flying, flying, flying, landing at last. Anticipation, finally the car approaches, the ear to ear smile, the tears of joy and surprise. Yes, it was a success!!
The week was full of lots of hugs, laughing, of course coffee and more coffee. Yes the mother/daughter week was one to remember.
My wish came true, that of all mother's round the globe, to bring joy and happiness to our children. I am blessed to have made a safe journey and spend time with one of my kidlets.
Arriving well before the sun rises, checking the bags, removing the shoes, security, ah finally the approach to the gate. Flying, flying, flying, landing at last. Anticipation, finally the car approaches, the ear to ear smile, the tears of joy and surprise. Yes, it was a success!!
The week was full of lots of hugs, laughing, of course coffee and more coffee. Yes the mother/daughter week was one to remember.
My wish came true, that of all mother's round the globe, to bring joy and happiness to our children. I am blessed to have made a safe journey and spend time with one of my kidlets.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Economist vs Media
I heard this week that the economist have finally confirmed what every working American already knew, the United States is in a major recession. Wow I am really glad they cleared that up for all of us. And not only that but we have been in this recession since last December. Wow you know go to any major city street corner and ask the homeless if we are in a recession and how long we have been in a recession, I bet they don't need a 4 year degree to figure that out.
My degree is not in economics or business for that matter, I am just a Registered Nurse. Let me tell you perhaps I should be heading the economy team.
The major auto manufactures in America should have long ago stopped production on their vehicles that were not living up to economic expectations. Have you noticed the more money that goes to bank bailouts the more money the auto industry requests. And the CEO's act like it is just an inconvenience to fly commercial first class. Poor babies. Now everyone is shocked that a CEO is going to only receive $1 salary for the next year, poor baby once again. I wonder if they have any idea how many assembly line workers could be hired for what 1 CEO earns in a year.
Stretch mortgages out so people can pay their own bills, stop sending all our jobs overseas, pull in all those multi million dollar salaries CEO's are collecting, if the auto industry needs money fine then give them a loan at the same interest rate college students pay on student loans. Why should the auto industry get "free" money when the youth of our future have to pay such high rates to get an education to clean up the messes these overpaid, self centered upper management officers created through their own greed.
And tell the media to stop pumping fear into the public by constantly telling us how bad everything is, we know how bad it is we are living it. All the media is doing is fueling the fire, and causing more fear.
My degree is not in economics or business for that matter, I am just a Registered Nurse. Let me tell you perhaps I should be heading the economy team.
The major auto manufactures in America should have long ago stopped production on their vehicles that were not living up to economic expectations. Have you noticed the more money that goes to bank bailouts the more money the auto industry requests. And the CEO's act like it is just an inconvenience to fly commercial first class. Poor babies. Now everyone is shocked that a CEO is going to only receive $1 salary for the next year, poor baby once again. I wonder if they have any idea how many assembly line workers could be hired for what 1 CEO earns in a year.
Stretch mortgages out so people can pay their own bills, stop sending all our jobs overseas, pull in all those multi million dollar salaries CEO's are collecting, if the auto industry needs money fine then give them a loan at the same interest rate college students pay on student loans. Why should the auto industry get "free" money when the youth of our future have to pay such high rates to get an education to clean up the messes these overpaid, self centered upper management officers created through their own greed.
And tell the media to stop pumping fear into the public by constantly telling us how bad everything is, we know how bad it is we are living it. All the media is doing is fueling the fire, and causing more fear.
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Ahhhh of the Day After
I spent a great deal of time making my pies, my pumpkin spice dessert and all the side dishes to go along with our meal of thanks. I have gotten lazier with the turkey part, seems to work well for us since no one eats dark meat, I now just cook 2 boneless turkey breasts. Goes straight from freezer to oven to table in 3 hours and ah the aroma..... and the ease of cleanup. I figure with all the prep work before hand that whatever I can do to minimize the cleanup afterward is well worth it.
We had our youngest kidlet with girlfriend, the grandma and uncle all for dinner making for a nice gathering around the dining table. Two smiling faces were obviously missing, that of our daughter kidlet and her boyfriend. Fortunately, boyfriends family stepped in and made C feel welcome and very much a part of their family table which helped to ease a mother's mind of a lonely kidlet on this day of thankful gatherings.
I am thankful for all I have, and I love this day after when I can sit and look out at the crisp cool day as I reminisce over the past 27 years of grateful Thanksgivings. I am also thankful that my family does not place such importance on material things as those at the New York Wal Mart that literally trampled to death an employee as he was trying to open the doors for business. Are material things on sale truly worth the life of a human being? I am so heartbroken for that man's family. This latest story on accentuates how commercialized society has become over Christmas.
I am thankful for all I have, especially for my wonderful family and friends. The rush is nonetheless on now, but I do hope that this horrible event in New York will cause parents everywhere to take pause with their children and explain to them what the true meaning of the holiday season is and what it is not.
We had our youngest kidlet with girlfriend, the grandma and uncle all for dinner making for a nice gathering around the dining table. Two smiling faces were obviously missing, that of our daughter kidlet and her boyfriend. Fortunately, boyfriends family stepped in and made C feel welcome and very much a part of their family table which helped to ease a mother's mind of a lonely kidlet on this day of thankful gatherings.
I am thankful for all I have, and I love this day after when I can sit and look out at the crisp cool day as I reminisce over the past 27 years of grateful Thanksgivings. I am also thankful that my family does not place such importance on material things as those at the New York Wal Mart that literally trampled to death an employee as he was trying to open the doors for business. Are material things on sale truly worth the life of a human being? I am so heartbroken for that man's family. This latest story on accentuates how commercialized society has become over Christmas.
I am thankful for all I have, especially for my wonderful family and friends. The rush is nonetheless on now, but I do hope that this horrible event in New York will cause parents everywhere to take pause with their children and explain to them what the true meaning of the holiday season is and what it is not.
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